How to Respond to a Dating App Message That Says "Hey": 7 Strategies That Actually Work

Why "Hey" Isn't a Dealbreaker (But Your Response Might Be)

You match with someone attractive, open the chat, and see it: "Hey." Just one word. No question, no hook, no effort. Before you unmatch or roll your eyes, consider this — how to respond to a dating app message that says "hey" is a skill, and most people handle it badly. The sender may be lazy, nervous, or simply testing the waters. Your reply determines whether this conversation dies in three messages or turns into a real date.

The good news: a "hey" is an open door. It puts you in control of the conversation's direction. Here's how to respond without wasting your time or losing your cool.

Strategy 1: Flip the Script with Playful Teasing

Instead of matching their low effort, call it out with humor. A light, confident tease signals that you have standards and personality.

- "Hey? That's all you've got? I expected at least a fun fact."

- "I was going to say hey back, but you set the bar so low I tripped over it."

- "Bold opener. Very mysterious. What's the sequel?"

This works because it's playful, not hostile. You're inviting them to step up rather than scolding them. If they respond with wit, you've found someone worth talking to. If they get defensive, you've saved yourself a wasted evening.

Strategy 2: Answer with a Question That Forces Substance

The fastest way to fix a boring opener is to redirect the energy. Respond warmly, then immediately ask something specific that's easy to answer but hard to answer lazily.

- "Hey! Good to match. Quick question — what's the last thing that made you laugh out loud?"

- "Hey back. I'll go first: my weekend involved [X]. What did yours look like?"

- "Hey! Before we do small talk, what's your most controversial food opinion?"

Notice the pattern: you give a little, then ask for a little. This models reciprocity. People who want to connect will match your effort. People who don't will fade out — which is exactly the information you needed.

Strategy 3: Know When to Walk Away

Not every "hey" deserves a reply. If their profile is empty, their message is a copy-paste, or they ignore your question and send another "hey" a day later, you have your answer. How to respond to a dating app message that says "hey" also means knowing when not to respond at all.

The rule of thumb: give one genuine attempt at sparking conversation. If they can't meet you halfway after that, unmatch and move on. Your time is the most valuable thing you're bringing to the table.

The Bottom Line

A one-word opener isn't a rejection — it's a blank canvas. Use humor to test their personality, ask specific questions to raise the bar, and don't be afraid to walk away from people who refuse to try. The person worth dating is the one who sees your clever reply and steps up their game.

Ready to stop wasting matches on dead-end chats? Try these openers in your next conversation — and if you want more scripts that turn "hey" into a first date, save this guide and share it with a friend who needs it. Перейти к подборке →